Ting & tang jeg finner på nettet.
Bidra gjerne selv oxo.
PS: Elsker å Surfe....
[color=#9932cc][/color]
Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby
shouted to the other," Are you a little girl or a little boy?
"I dont know," replied the other baby giggling.
"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby.
"I mean i don't know how to tell the difference," was the the reply.
"Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling. "I'LL climb into your crib to find out."
He carefully maneuvered himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets.
After a couple of minuts, he faced with a big grin on his face.
"You are a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he said proudly.
"You're ever so clever, " said the baby girl, "but how can you tell?
"It's quite easy really," replied the baby boy. "You've got pink booties and I've got blue ones.
A HUG.
[size=4][/size]A hug is such fun
And it's certain to please you,
Just open your arms
And let somebody squeese you,
If you need cheering
A hug never fails you,
It makes you feel great
And it's good for what ails you...
A hug is a present
You don't have to earn,
And oh, what a pleasure
To give...
...and return!
A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully,
and before it blossomed, he examined it.
He saw the bud that would soon blossom and
also the thorns. And he thought,
" How can any beautiful flower come from a plant
burdened with so many sharp thorns?"
Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose,
and before it was ready to bloom, it died.
~
So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose.
The God-like qualities planted in us at birth
grow amind the thorns of our faults.
Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns and the defects.
We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us.
We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies.
We never realize our potential.
Some people do not see tht rose within themselves;
someone else must show it to them.
~
One of the greatest gifts a person can possess
is to be able to reach past the thorns and find the rose within others.
This is the characteristic of love, to look at a person,
and knowing his faults, recognize the nobility in his soul,
and help him realize that he can overcome his faults.
If we show him the rose, he will conquer the thorns.
Then will he blossom, blooming forth thirty,
sixty, a hundred fold as it given to him.
~
Our duty in this world is to help others by showing
them their roses and not their thorns.
Only then can we achieve the love we should feel for
each other................
Håper du fortsetter etter sommeren da! For jeg har hvertfall satt pris på denne tråden, og etter visningsantallet å dømme så er det flere som har gjort det også selv om de ikke har skrevet noe. :)
[center]ALWAYS REMEMBER...[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Right Now[/center]
[center][/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Somebody is very proud of you.[/center]
[center]Somebody is thinking of you.[/center]
[center]Somebody is caring about you.[/center]
[center]Somebody misses you.[/center]
[center]Somebody wants to talk to you.[/center]
[center]Somebody wants to be with you.[/center]
[center]Somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Accepts you as you are[/center]
[center]Believes in "you"[/center]
[center]Calls you just to say "HI"[/center]
[center]Doesn't give up on you[/center]
[center]Envisions the whole of you even the unfinished parts[/center]
[center]Forgives your mistakes[/center]
[center]Gives unconditionally[/center]
[center]Helps you[/center]
[center]Invites you over[/center]
[center]Just "bee" with you[/center]
[center]Keeps you close at heart[/center]
[center]Loves you for who you are[/center]
[center]Makes a difference in your life[/center]
[center]Never judges[/center]
[center]Offers support[/center]
[center]Picks you up[/center]
[center]Quiets your fears[/center]
[center]Raises your spirits[/center]
[center]Says nice things about you[/center]
[center]Tells you the truth when you need to hear it[/center]
[center]Understands you[/center]
[center]Values you[/center]
[center]Walks beside you[/center]
[center]X-plains things you dont understand[/center]
[center]Yells when you won't listen and...[/center]
[center]Zaps you back to reality![/center]
[center]Online friend I have never seen you before,[/center]
[center]but I know you are really there.[/center]
[center]I click you into reality, like magic in the air.[/center]
[center]Your voice is like an angel, though I really do not hear.[/center]
[center]Your hug are warm as any, of the loved ones I hold dear.[/center]
[center]You are always there for comfort, or a word of cheer.[/center]
[center]Though you are very far away, I always have you near.[/center]
[center]You are a very special friend, like none I have ever known.[/center]
[center]As long as you are in cyberspace, I will never be alone.[/center]
[center]The adventure of life is to learn.[/center]
[center]The purpose of life is to grow.[/center]
[center]The nature of life is to change.[/center]
[center]The challenge of life is to overcome.[/center]
[center]The essence of life is to care.[/center]
[center]The opportunity of life is to serve.[/center]
[center]The secret of life is to dare.[/center]
[center]The spice of life is to befriend.[/center]
[center]The beauty of life is to give.[/center]
[center]The joy of life is to LOVE...[/center]
[center]The Shape Women Are In[/center]
[center]~~[/center]
[center]Did you know...[/center]
[center]~~[/center]
[center]There are 3 billion women[/center]
[center]who don't look like supermodels[/center]
[center]and only 8 who do.[/center]
[center]~~[/center]
[center]Marilyn Monroe wore a size 16.[/center]
[center]~~[/center]
[center]If Barbie were a real woman,[/center]
[center]she'd have to walk on all fours[/center]
[center]due to her proportions.[/center]
[center]~~[/center]
[center]The average American woman weighs 144 Ibs.[/center]
[center]and wears between a size 12 and 14.[/center]
[center]~~[/center]
[center]One out of every 4 college aged women[/center]
[center]has an eating disorder.[/center]
[center]~~[/center]
[center]The models in the magazines are airbrushed-[/center]
[center]they are not perfect![/center]
[center]~~[/center]
[center]A psychological study in 1995 found that 3 minutes[/center]
[center]spent looking at models in a fashion magazine caused 70%[/center]
[center]of women to feel depressed, guilty, and shameful.[/center]
[center]~~[/center]
[center]Models, who twenty years ago weighed 8%[/center]
[center]less than the average woman, today weigh 23% less.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Time is too slow for those who wait,[/center]
[center]Too swift for those who fear,[/center]
[center]Too long for those who grieve,[/center]
[center]Too short for for those who rejoice,[/center]
[center]But for those who love,[/center]
[center]time is eternity.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Henry VanDyke.[/center]
[center]Beauty of a woman[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]~~~~[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]The beauty of a woman,[/center]
[center]isn't in the clotes she wears,[/center]
[center]the figure that she carries,[/center]
[center]or the way she combs her hair.[/center]
[center]The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes[/center]
[center]because that's the doorway to her heart,[/center]
[center]the place where love resides.[/center]
[center]~~[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]The beauty of a woman, isn't in a facial mole,[/center]
[center]but true beauty in a woman[/center]
[center]is reflected by her soul.[/center]
[center]It's the caring that she cares to give,[/center]
[center]the passion that she shows,[/center]
[center]and the beauty of a woman,[/center]
[center]with passing years, only grows.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Gratuler som skolepike.[/center]
[center]Det er underlig så fort tiden går. [/center]
[center]Husker så godt da du ble født, bare 7og en halvtime etter min 30 år's dag.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center](Gosj er det så lenge siden):) [/center]
[center]6 år er gått, og i dag var den store dagen kommet.[/center]
[center]Har både gledet og kvidd deg, (jeg og) men det gikk så bra så.[/center]
[center]Ønsker deg lykke til på livets lærerike vei.[/center]
[center][color=navy][/color] [/center]
[center]*[/center]
[center]Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.[/center]
[center][color=#000080][/color] [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]
[/center]
[center]The more I eat, The more I weigh.[/center]
[center]The more I have to carry each day.[/center]
[center]The more I carry, I wonder why.[/center]
[center]I don't loose weight from all the exercise.[/center]
[center]ABC's for a Great Day![/center]
[center]* [/center]
[center]Always know that YOU are special![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Before you give up, try one more time.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Can- YOU can do it! Yes you can![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Do your best and feel good about it.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Expect a wonderful and exciting day![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Finishing what you start is[/center]
[center]a great thing to do.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Giving, sharing and playing fair.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Helping someone else makes[/center]
[center]you feel good.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Imagination - You have a great one-[/center]
[center]Use it![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Just because you've never done it,[/center]
[center]don't be afraid to try it.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Know that you are loved.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Laugh - It makes you happy![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Mistakes - It's okay to make them, but[/center]
[center]learning from them is even better.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]New ways of doing things can be fun![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Offering to do something extra is[/center]
[center]extra spesial of you![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Perfectly wonderful - That's YOU![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Questions - Be sure to ask them.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Read and learn all you can.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Show others how much you like them.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Talk to someone about your feelings.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Understand? If you don't, tell someone![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Vote " No" If you don't think it's right.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Wear YOUR beautiful smile![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Xtra hugs and kisses to you![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]YOU are the only person in the world[/center]
[center]like you and that makes you[/center]
[center]important![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Zillions of great ways a lovable person[/center]
[center]like you can have a great day![/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Your presense is a present to the world.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]You're unique and one of a kind.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Your life can be what you want it to be.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Take the days just one at a time.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Count your blessings not your troubles.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]You'll make it through, whatever comes along.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Within you are so many answers.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Understand, have courage, be strong.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Don't put limits on yourself.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]So many dreams are waiting to be realized.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Decisions are too important to leave to change.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Reach for your peak, your goal and your prize.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Don't take things too seriously.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Live a life of serenity, not of regrets.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Remember, that a little love goes a long way.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Remember, that a lot. . . goes forever.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Remember, that friendship is a wise investment.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Life's treasures, are people. . . together.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Realize, that it's never too late.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Have health, hope and happiness.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Take the time, to wish upon a star.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]And don't ever forget. . .[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]For even a day. . .[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]HOW VERY SPECIAL YOU ARE.[/center]
[center]*[/center]
[center]If you are the desert, I'll be the sea[/center]
[center]If you ever hunger, hunger for me[/center]
[center]Whatever you ask for, that's what I'll be.[/center]
[center]So when you remember[/center]
[center]the ones who have lied[/center]
[center]Who said that they cared,[/center]
[center]but then laughed as you cried[/center]
[center]Beautiful darling don't think of me[/center]
[center]Because all I ever wanted, its in your eyes.[/center]
[center]20 SECRETS TO HAPPINESS[/center]
[center][b][/b][/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Return everything you borrow[/center]
[center]Stop blaming other people[/center]
[center]Live within your means and within your seams[/center]
[center]Be humble[/center]
[center]Listen more; talk less[/center]
[center]Every day, do something nice and try not to get caught[/center]
[center]Strive for excellence, not not perfection[/center]
[center]Be on time[/center]
[center]Don't criticize anyone for 24 hours[/center]
[center]Be kind to other people[/center]
[center]Take time to be alone[/center]
[center]Admit it when you make a mistake[/center]
[center]Understand and accept that life isn't always fair[/center]
[center]Let someone cut ahead of you in line[/center]
[center]Don't argue[/center]
[center]Know when to say something[/center]
[center]Know when to be silent[/center]
[center]Don't make excuses[/center]
[center]Don't sweat the small stuff[/center]
[center]*[/center]
[center]After a while you learn the subtle difference,[/center]
[center]Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.[/center]
[center]And you lern that love doesn't mean leaning,[/center]
[center]And company doesen't mean security.[/center]
[center]And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts,[/center]
[center]And presents aren't promises.[/center]
[center]And you begin to accept your defeat,[/center]
[center]With your head up and your eyes ahead,[/center]
[center]With the grace of a women not the grief of a child.[/center]
[center]And you learn to build all of your roads today,[/center]
[center]Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plants.[/center]
[center]And futures have a way of falling down in the mid flight.[/center]
[center]So you plant your own garden, and decorate your own soul.[/center]
[center]Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.[/center]
[center]And you learn that you really can endure,[/center]
[center]And you learn that you really do have worth[/center]
[center]And you learn and learn,[/center]
[center]With every goodbye you leran.[/center]
[center]That always warms the heart;[/center]
[center]It welcomes us back home[/center]
[center]And makes it easier to part.[/center]
[center]A hug's is a way to share the joy.[/center]
[center]And sad times we go through,[/center]
[center]Or just a way for friends to say[/center]
[center]They like you 'cause you're you.[/center]
[center]Hugs are meant for anyone[/center]
[center]For whom we really care,[/center]
[center]From your grandma to your neighbour,[/center]
[center]Or a cuddly teddy bear.[/center]
[center]A hug is an amazing thing -[/center]
[center]It's just the perfect way[/center]
[center]To show the love we're feeling[/center]
[center]But can't find the words to say.[/center]
[center]It's funny how a little hug[/center]
[center]Makes everyone feel good;[/center]
[center]In every place and language,[/center]
[center]It's always understood.[/center]
[center]And hugs don't need new equipment,[/center]
[center]Special batteries or parts -[/center]
[center]Just open your arms[/center]
[center]And open up your hearts.[/center]
[center]When I grow old, many things will CHANGE...[/center]
[center]My hair, my eyes, my skin, my lips, my posture.....[/center]
[center]But one thing I am sure of....Nothing can[/center]
[center]CHANGE the way I keep someone like U in my HEART...[/center]
[center]My FOREVER FRIEND!!!!![/center]
[center][/center]
[center][/center]
[center][/center]
[center]If I could catch a rainbow,[/center]
[center]I would do it just for you.[/center]
[center]And share with you its beauty[/center]
[center]On the days you're feeling blue.[/center]
[center]If I could build a mountain[/center]
[center]You could call your very own.[/center]
[center]A place to find serenity,[/center]
[center]A place to be alone.[/center]
[center]If I could take your troubles,[/center]
[center]I would toss them in the sea.[/center]
[center]But all these things I'm finding[/center]
[center]are impossible for me.[/center]
[center]I cannot build a mountain[/center]
[center]Or catch a rainbow fair.[/center]
[center]But let me be what I know best[/center]
[center]A friend that's always there.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center][/center]
[center]SMILING is infectious, You catch it like the flu.[/center]
[center]*[/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]When someone SMILED att me today, I started SMILING too.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin,[/center]
[center][/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]When he SMILED,I realized I'd passed on to him.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]I thougt about that SMILE, then realized its worth,[/center]
[center] [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]A single SMILE just like mine could travel 'round the earth'.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]So if you feel a SMILE begin, don't leave it unprotected.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]SMILE like there's no tomorrow and share it unprotected![/center]
[center][/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]LET'S START AN EPIDEMIC QUICK[/center]
[center]AND GET THE WORLD INFECTED WITH SMILES![/center]
[center][/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]KEEP THE SMILE GOING BY SENDING THIS[/center]
[center]ON TO A FRIEND.[/center]
[center]*[/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]To believe is to know that every day is a new beginning. It is to trust that miracles happen, and dreams really do come true.[/center]
To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds, To know the wonder of a stardust sky and the wisdom of the man in the moon.
To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart, The innocence of a child's eyes and the beauty of an aging hand, for it is through their teachings we learn to love.
To believe is to find the strength and courage that lies within us. When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.
To believe is to know we are not alone, That life is a gift and this is our time to cherish it.
To believe is to know that wonderful surprises are just waiting to happen, And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.
[center]For you, I wish happiness and peace of mind[/center]
[center][font=Arial][size=4][color=#c0c0c0]For you, I wish success in your personal life [/center] and in your career[/color][/size][/font]
[center][font=Arial][size=4][color=#c0c0c0]For you, I wish the vanishing of hard feelings[/center] among family and friends[/color][/size][/font]
[center]For you, I wish laughter and joy[/center]
[center][font=Arial][size=4][color=#c0c0c0]For you, I wish a strong faith to carry you [/center] through the times that are hard[/color][/size][/font]
[center][font=Arial][size=4][color=#c0c0c0]For you, I wish food upon your table[/center] and clothes upon your back[/color][/size][/font]
[center]For you, I wish a walk in the forest[/center]
[center][font=Arial][size=4][color=#c0c0c0]For you, I wish friendship, honesty, [/center] and fidelity with your mate[/color][/size][/font]
[center]For you, I wish the hug of a child[/center]
[center]For you, I wish the morning dew and sunlight[/center]
[center]For you, I wish a bubble bath by candlelight[/center]
[center]For you, I wish a good cry[/center]
[center][font=Arial][size=4][color=#c0c0c0]For you, I wish the songs of a bird and[/center] a babbling creek[/color][/size][/font]
[center][font=Arial][size=4][color=#c0c0c0]For you, I wish lessons learned so you[/center] will not make the same mistakes over and over[/color][/size][/font]
[center][font=Arial][size=4][color=#c0c0c0]For you, I wish quiet times shared[/center] with the one you love[/color][/size][/font]
[center][font=Arial][size=4][color=#c0c0c0]For you, I wish the innocence of youth[/center] and the wisdom of maturity[/color][/size][/font]
[center][font=Arial][size=4][color=#c0c0c0]For you, I wish the experience of grass [/center] beneath your feet[/color][/size][/font]
[center]For you, I wish joy in simple matters[/center]
[center]For you, I wish the fragrance of a rose[/center]
[center]For you, I wish a heart that is at home[/center]
[center]For you, I wish dancing by moonlight[/center]
[center]For you, I wish the pleasure of fishing[/center]
[center]For you, I wish a Mother's love[/center]
[center]For you, I wish a good nights sleep[/center]
[center]For you, I wish the laughter of a child[/center]
[center]For you, I wish memories of days gone by[/center]
[center][font=Arial][size=4][color=#c0c0c0]For you, I wish a heart nestled [/center] in acceptance of yourself[/color][/size][/font]
[center]For you, I wish dancing eyes and a ready smile[/center]
[center]For you, I wish compassion and understanding[/center]
[center][font=Arial][size=4][color=#c0c0c0]For you, I wish the appreciation of[/center] a hard days work[/color][/size][/font]
[center]For you, I wish safety at all times[/center]
May Angels rest beside your door.
May you hear Their voices sing.
May you feel Their loving care for you.
May you hear Their peace bells ring.
May Angels always care for you
and not let you trip and fall.
May They bear you up on Angel's wings.
May They keep you standing tall.
May They whisper wisdom in your ear.
May They touch you when you need.
May They remove from you each trace of fear.
May They keep you from feeling greed.
May They fill you with their presence.
May They always stand besides you
and make you ever bold.
May They teach you what you need to know
about life here and hereafter.
May They fill you always with their love
and give you the gift of laughter.
Dette hjørnet ditt er så godt å komme til hvis man trenger noen kloke, oppløftende ord, Marit. Også er du så flink med lay-out og bilder også, slik at hele lese-opplevelsen blir god. Tusen takk for alt påfyll!
Men si meg, når sover du? Nå? Ser du har innlegg halve natta jo....:p Kanskje det er derfor du blir i det romantiske og melankolske hjørnet? :D
[center]I want you to know[/center]
that I believe in us
and in all the things
that have made our love
so beautiful and meaningful.
[center]I believe in you[/center]
and in the thoughtful, sensitive,
caring person you are.
[center]I've come to cherish[/center]
so many special things about you
your smile, your reassuring touch
the way you understand me
sometimes better
than I understand myself.
[center]And I want you to know[/center]
that I'll always be there for you
I'll always believe in us.
[left]Irriterende svenske[/left] På en kafé sitter en nordmann og spiser frokost, og Ved siden av ham sitter en svenske som tygger tyggegummi.
Uoppfordret innleder svensken en samtale: "Spiser dere nordmenn egentlig hele brødet?"
Nordmannen lar motvillig frokosten ligge og svarer: "Ja, naturligvis!".
Svensken leker med tyggegummien i munnen og sier: "Det gjør vi ikke hos oss, hos oss i Sverige spiser vi kun det innerste av brødet. Brødskorpene blir samlet i en container, bearbeidet og formet til croissanter og solgt til Norge."
Nordmannen hører bare så vidt etter. Svensken smiler og spør videre: "Spiser dere også syltetøy til brødet?"
Nordmannen svarer lett irritert: "Ja, naturligvis".
Mens svensken tygger tyggegummi mellom tennene, sier han: "Ikke hos oss, hos oss i Sverige spiser vi kun frisk frukt til frokost. Skallene og restene blir samlet i en container, bearbeidet til syltetøy og solgt til Norge."
Nå er det blitt nordmannens tur til å spørre!
"Si meg en ting", spør nordmannen. "Har dere også sex i Sverige?"
Svensken smiler og svarer: "Ja, naturligvis har vi sex i Sverige!"
Nordmannen lener seg over bordet og spør :
"Hva gjør dere med kondomene etter at de er brukt?"
"Dem kaster vi da!", svarer svensken.
Nå begynner nordmannen virkelig å smile.
"Ikke hos oss, hos oss i Norge blir alle brukte kondomer samlet i en container, bearbeidet, smeltet og solgt til Sverige som tyggegummi
Ekstremt smart datamaskin En dag hadde Bill så vondt i armen at han sa til kompisen sin, "Jeg har ekstremt vondt i albuen.. Tror du jeg bør besøke en legen?"
"Nei, ikke gå til legen.. Besøk heller den nye datamaskinen på apoteket!! Den kan finne ut hva som er galt med deg mye raskere og billigere enn en lege! Bare gi den en skvett av urinen din og legg ved 50 kroner.", sa kompisen
”Jeg har nå ingenting å tape”, tenkte Bill, så han fylte opp et lite glass med urin og gikk til apoteket. Når han kom frem tømte han urinen oppi beholderen ved siden av datamaskinen og puttet på 50 kroner.
Datamaskinen begynte å lage mange merkelige lyder, og av og til så kom det også noen ekstremt sterke lysglimt.. Etter en liten stund kom det ut en liten notis med følgende tekst:
Du har tennisalbue Hold armen fuktig i varmt vann Unngå tunge løft Du vil være bedre innen 2 uker Sent samme dag, så satt Bill å tenkte over hvilken fantastisk teknologi denne datamaskinen inneholdt og hvordan den kan forandre verden for alltid.. Han lurte også på om det gikk an å lure denne datamaskinen så for å prøve så fant han et glass og tømte litt vann fra springen oppi sammen med litt avføring fra hunden, urin fra konen og urin fra datteren.. Og som om dette ikke var nok så onanerte han og slapp en liten dæsj sæd i glasset.
Når han var kommet til datamaskinen tømte han innholdet av glasset i beholderen og puttet på 50 kroner.. Etter en liten stund så kom en liten notis med følgende skrift:
Springvannet ditt er forurenset Begynn å kjøp vann på flaske
Hunden din har ormer Kjøp vitaminer til den
Datteren din går på kokain Få henne på avvenning
Konen din er gravid med tvillinger De er ikke dine Skaff en advokat
Og hvis du ikke slutter å onanere, så blir tennisalbuen din aldri bedre!
[center]you were born a daughter. [/center]
[center]you looked up to your mother. [/center]
[center]you looked up to your father. [/center]
[center]you looked up to everyone. [/center]
[center]you wanted to be a princess. [/center]
[center]you wanted to own a horse. [/center]
[center]you wanted your brother to be a horse. [/center]
[center]you wanted to wear pink. [/center]
[center]you never wanted to wear pink. [/center]
[center]you wanted to be a veterinarian. [/center]
[center]you wanted to be president. [/center]
[center]you wanted to be the president's veterinarian. [/center]
[center]you were picked last for the team. [/center]
[center]you were the best one on the team. [/center]
[center]you refused to be on the team. [/center]
[center]you wanted to do well in algebra. [/center]
[center]you hid during algebra. [/center]
[center]you wanted boys to notice you. [/center]
[center]you were afraid the boys would notice you. [/center]
[center]you started to get acne. [/center]
[center]you started to get breasts. [/center]
[center]you started to get acne that was bigger than your breasts. [/center]
[center]you wouldn't wear a bra. [/center]
[center]you couldn't wait to wear a bra. [/center]
[center]you couldn't fit into a bra. [/center]
[center]you didn't like the way you looked. [/center]
[center]you didn't like the way your parents looked. [/center]
[center]you didn't want to grow up. [/center]
[center]you had your first best friend. [/center]
[center]you had your first date. [/center]
[center]you spent hours on the telephone. [/center]
[center]you got kissed. [/center]
[center]you got to kiss back. [/center]
[center]you didn't go to the prom. [/center]
[center]you went to the prom with the wrong person. [/center]
[center]you spent hours on the telephone. [/center]
[center]you fell in love. [/center]
[center]you fell in love. [/center]
[center]you fell in love. [/center]
[center]you lost your best friend. [/center]
[center]you lost your other best friend. [/center]
[center]you really fell in love. [/center]
[center]you became a steady girlfriend. [/center]
[center]you became a significant other. [/center]
[center]you became significant to yourself. [/center]
[center]sooner or later, you start to take yourself seriously. [/center]
[center]you know when you need a break. [/center]
[center]you know when you need a rest. [/center]
[center]you know what to get worked up about, and what to get rid of and you know when it's time to take care of yourself, [/center]
[center]when it's time to do something that makes you stronger, faster, & more confident. because you know it's never too late to live life and never too late to change one. [/center]
[center]En fransklærer fortalte klassen at i motsetning til engelsk, har alle franske ord et kjønn, enten hankjønn eller hunkjønn.[/center]
[center]En av elevene rakk opp hånden…[/center]
[indent][center]– Hvilket kjønn har en datamaskin?
[/center]
[/indent][center]
[/center]
[center]Læreren var i tvil, så hun delte klassen i to grupper, den ene bestående av guttene, og den andre av jentene, for å få dem til å gi 4 grunner hver for hvilket kjønn en datamaskin burde ha.[/center]
[center]Jentene er enige om at datamaskiner må være hankjønn. Årsakene er klare :[/center]
[indent][center]”Man er nødt til å tenne dem for å få deres oppmerksomhet.”
[/center]
[/indent][indent][center]”De innholder masse data som de selv ikke forstår.”
[/center]
[/indent][indent][center]”Det er meningen at de skal hjelpe deg med alle dine problemer, men det meste av tiden er det de som er problemet.”
[/center]
[/indent][indent][center]”Så snart du har anskaffet deg en, innser du at hvis du hadde ventet litt lenger så kunne du fått en bedre.”
[/center]
[/indent][center]
[/center]
[center]Guttene har den motsatte oppfatningen. De mener datamaskinen er hunkjønn :[/center]
[indent][center]”Bare skaperen forstår deres indre logikk.”
[/center]
[/indent][indent][center]”De bruker et uforståelig språk til å kommunisere seg i mellom.”
[/center]
[/indent][indent][center]”Selv den minste feil blir lagret i langtidshukommelsen og kan hentes fram når som helst.”
[/center]
[/indent][indent][center]”Når du har skaffet deg en må du bruke halvparten av lønnen på å kjøpe ekstrautstyr.”
[center]Lise hadde en skjønn, gammel hannkatt, og den stelte og dullet hun med ved enhver anledning. Hun elsket den over alt på denne jord. St.Peter syntes dette var slikt et rørende tegn på omsorg at han dro på besøk til Lise.[/center]
[indent][center]– Siden du har vært så snill og god mot denne katten din og stelt så pent med den, skal du få ett ønske oppfylt. Hva ønsker du deg?, sa St.Peter
[/center]
[/indent][center]
[/center]
[center]Lise tenkte seg om et øyeblikk[/center]
[indent][center]– Jeg ønsker at katten min skal bli en høy, kjekk kar i passende alder for meg, og han vil elske meg like høyt som jeg elsker ham.
[/center]
[/indent][center]
[/center]
[indent][center]– Da skal det bli slik!, sa St. Peter.
[/center]
[/indent][center]
[/center]
[center]Etter noen få øyeblikk sto den kjekkeste mannen du kan forestille deg foran henne. Lise ble stående helt stum av beundring. Da bøyde mannen seg frem og hvisket til Lise.[/center]
[indent][center]– Jaja, nå kan du angre på at du kastrerte meg i fjor...!
[color=#503fa0]
[center]A warm and special welcome[/center]
[center]to your precious bundle of joy![/color][/center]
[center]Sending prayers and special wishes[/center]
[center]For your baby and you.[/center]
[center]God showering blessings[/center]
[center]On this life that is new.[/center]
[center]Wishing hearts of happiness,[/center]
[center]Each and every day[/center]
[center]Shared by family and friends,[/center]
[center]In your child's own special way.[/center]
[center][color=#503fa0]Congratulations on this precious miracle of life![/center] [/color]
[center][font=times new roman, Times New Roman, Times][color=#6f6900]I want to love forever.[/center]
[center]You're still the one[/center]
[center]I want to wake up with every morning[/center]
[center]and snuggle with every night,[/center]
[center]the one I want to share[/center]
[center]my dreams with,[/center]
[center]build castles in the air with,[/center]
[center]the one whose hand I want to [/center]
[center]hold when I'm afraid,[/center]
[center]whose shoulder I want to lean on[/center]
[center]when I need support.[/center]
[center]You're still the one [/center]
[center]I want to[/center]
[center]encourage to make your own[/center]
[center]dreams come true,[/center]
[center]the one I want to comfort[/center]
[center]when you need a source of strength[/center]
[center]the one I want to hold[/center]
[center]close always.[/center]
[center]You're still the one[/center]
[center]the only one,[/center]
[center][b]I want to love forever.[/color][/b][/center]
[center]'Twas there I met a special friend [/center]
[center]Who stole away my heart [/center]
[center]There is a place within my heart [/center]
[center]Where memories of you lie. [/center]
[center]A place I visit from time to time; [/center]
[center]A place that shall never die. [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]A place that no one knows about [/center]
[center]Except for a very few. [/center]
[center]A place that I have set aside [/center]
[center]Especially for you. [/center]
[center]I go to this place whenever I feel [/center]
[center]Lonely when we're apart. [/center]
[center]I go to this place whenever I need [/center]
[center]You to touch my heart. [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]You shall always be in this place; [/center]
[center]No one could fill your shoes. [/center]
[center]No one else could take your place, [/center]
[center]For I give my heart to you. [/center]
[center]Yes, I give you my heart [/center]
[center]Sharing love each day, from the very start. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]For when I visit that special room. [/center]
[center]Where my heart sometimes does stay.[/center]
[center]And find you there. [/center]
[center]I wonder where, [/center]
[center]You've been before today. [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]I thought Of you today,[/center]
[center]And in my heart you'll always stay. [/center]
[center]And may you never love in vain. [/center]
[center]And in my heart you will remain. [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]It's sharing everyday affairs, [/center]
[center]With someone who understands and cares. [/center]
[center]Happiness can't be defined, [/center]
[center]It's a certain mood, a state of mind. [/center]
[center]Cause you`ll always be in my heart. [/center]
[center][center]To believe is to know that every day is a new beginning. It is to trust that miracles happen, and dreams really do come true.
To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds, To know the wonder of a stardust sky and the wisdom of the man in the moon.
To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart, The innocence of a child's eyes and the beauty of an aging hand, for it is through their teachings we learn to love.
To believe is to find the strength and courage that lies within us. When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.
To believe is to know we are not alone, That life is a gift and this is our time to cherish it.
To believe is to know that wonderful surprises are just waiting to happen, And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.
[center]CAN LOVE YOU LIKE THAT[/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]I feel deep in my heart and soul,[/center]
[center]That you and I were meant to be.[/center]
[center]Life has it's own way of bringing[/center]
[center]Two people together, & I believe [/center]
[center]That is what happened, with you & me.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Destiny brought us together,[/center]
[center]To share in such a beautiful love.[/center]
[center]A love more great than I have ever [/center]
[center]Before known,that truly is a precious[/center]
[center]Gift to me, from the Lord above.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Every word that is spoken,[/center]
[center]I feel so deeply in my heart.[/center]
[center]Your words remain within me always,[/center]
[center]Warms my heart and my soul.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center]Every touch that I have felt, [/center]
[center]Has let me know just how much you[/center]
[center]Have cared. I remember every tender[/center]
[center]Moment we have spent together, and[/center]
[center]Everything beautiful, we have shared.[/center]
[center]Love is the best thing in the world ...[/center]
[center]And the thing that lives longest. [/center]
[center]Love is something to share with a wonderful person,[/center]
[center]And once it's there, you've got to make it last. [/center]
[center]Love isn't something to be taken for granted ...[/center]
[center]It's something to be nurtured,[/center]
[center]And cared for and caressed. [/center]
[center]Love can last forever ...[/center]
[center]If you want it to. [/center]
[center]Love isn't tough and tentative ...[/center]
[center]It's wonderful and gentle and tender. [/center]
[center]Love is mysterious ...[/center]
[center]But it asks that you keep no secrets. [/center]
[center]Love is blind ...[/center]
[center]But it asks that you see how happy it can make you. [/center]
[center]Love is more like a flower than a tree ...[/center]
[center]The wrong things can hurt it so easily.[/center]
[center]But the right things can make it more beautiful [/center]
[center]Than anything else your life has ever know. [/center]
[center]Love is something to be treated [/center]
[center]As the best of blessings ...[/center]
[center]And as your own little miracle [/center]
[center]That will keep coming true ...[/center]
[center]As long as you want it to.[/center]
[center]1. You listen to me and sit by me thru good and bad! [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]2. I can be myself, with you! [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]3. God made you special, cause you are unique in your own way! [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]4. You seem to care alot! [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]5. Love me for who I am! [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]6. You read my emails and then respond back when others wouldnt have! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]7. You make me smile even when things are tough! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]8. When I mess up, you are ready to forgive me! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]9. Say the nicest things to me! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]10. Your hugs go a long ways online or offline! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]11. When I cry you cry with me! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]12. You share in my life circumstances! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]13. Every thought that comes from you has been good towards me! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" /> [/center] [center]14. You speak from your heart! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]15. You think about me every day! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]16. Your presence and friendship fills my every day need! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]17. You are very cute when you are angry, :-) [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]18. Online you send me the best cards cause you care! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]19. You inspire me to keep going on! [/center] [center]<img class="bbimg" src="http://home.att.net/~scorh3/Baby03b.gif" />[/center] [center]20. You dont care how I look, I can look anyway I want![/center]
[center]Brought Together as one. [/center]
[center]You fill my life up with [/center]
[center]Unmeasurable Love.[/center]
[center]My heart tell me you were,[/center]
[center]The one from day one.[/center]
[center]When I wake up next to you,[/center]
[center]A reaasuring smile crosses my lips.[/center]
[center]Your touch brings goose bumps.[/center]
[center]With trusting eyes I lean against[/center]
[center]Your chest, feeling secure & [/center]
[center]A Love that last forever.[/center]
[center]Never stop holding me, loving me &[/center]
[center]Or looking into my eyes.[/center]
[center]Your embrace holds my heart together.[/center]
[center]Finding peace in my soul,[/center]
[center]Knowing I found that special person.[/center]
[center]You are my guiding star,[/center]
[center]My everything,[/center]
[center]That completes my life.[/center]
[center][/center]
[center][/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Baby I've been drifting away[/center]
[center]And dreaming all day[/center]
[center]Of holding you; touching you[/center]
[center]The only thing I wanna do is be with you[/center]
[center]As close to you as I can be[/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Let's make love All night long[/center]
[center]Until all your strenght is gone [/center]
[center]Hold on tight Just let go[/center]
[center]I want to feel you in my soul[/center]
[center]Until the sun comes up Let's make love[/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Do you know what you do to me[/center]
[center]Everything inside of me Is wanthing you, needing you[/center]
[center]I'm so in love with you Loock into my eyes[/center]
[center]Let's get lost tonight In each other[/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Let's make love All night long[/center]
[center]Untill all our strenght is gone[/center]
[center]Hold on tight Just let go[/center]
[center]I want to feel you in my soul[/center]
[center]Until the sun comes up Let's make love[/center]
[center] [/center]
[left]My love for you it will be forever[/left]
I promised you to work out the problems together
If you ever needs me I'll give it my all
And work out the troubles be they big or small.
I'll hold you when you`re down
And from your face I'll take your frown
I only wish to make you see
I'll give you nothing but honesty
My goal in life is to make you smile
And as for that I'd walk more than a mile
If you ever needs anything all you need do is ask
Because I feel that's an easy task.
I really do love you so
There is nowhere I wouldn't go
I'd cross deserts and mountains and even the sea
Because with you is where I should be
When I'm with you there's nothing to say
Except I promise to love you each & every day
Nothing could be more important to do
Than just being there for you.
[center]As you travel through life [/center]
[center]there are always those times [/center]
[center]when decisions just have to be made [/center]
[center]when the choices are hard, [/center]
[center]and solutions seem scarce [/center]
[center]and the rain seems [/center]
[center]to soak your parade! [/center]
[center]*[/center]
[center]There are some situations [/center]
[center]where all you can do [/center]
[center]is to simply let go and move on [/center]
[center]gather courage together [/center]
[center]and choose a direction [/center]
[center]that carries you toward a new dawn. [/center]
[center]*[/center]
[center]So pack up your troubles [/center]
[center]and take a step forward [/center]
[center]the process of change can be tough [/center]
[center]but think about all the excitement ahead [/center]
[center]if you can be stalwart enough! [/center]
[center]There could be adventures [/center]
[center]you never imagined [/center]
[center]just waiting around the next bend [/center]
[center]and wishes and dreams [/center]
[center]just about to come true [/center]
[center]in ways you can't yet comprehend! [/center]
[center]*[/center]
[center]Perhaps you'll find friendships [/center]
[center]that spring from new interests [/center]
[center]as you challenge your status quo [/center]
[center]and learn there are so many [/center]
[center]options in life, [/center]
[center]and so many ways you can grow! [/center]
[center]*[/center]
[center]Perhaps you'll go places [/center]
[center]you never expected [/center]
[center]and see things that you've never seen [/center]
[center]or travel to fabulous, [/center]
[center]faraway worlds [/center]
[center]and wonderful spots in between! [/center]
[center]*[/center]
[center]Perhaps you'll find warmth [/center]
[center]and affection and caring,[/center]
[center]a "somebody special" who's there [/center]
[center]to help you stay centered [/center]
[center]and listen with interest [/center]
[center]to stories and feelings you share. [/center]
[center]Perhaps you'll find comfort [/center]
[center]in knowing your friends are [/center]
[center]*[/center]
[center]supportive of all that you do [/center]
[center]and believe that whatever [/center]
[center]decisions you make, [/center]
[center]they'll be the right choices for you! [/center]
[center]So keep putting one foot in front of the other [/center]
[center]and taking your life day by day. [/center]
[center]*[/center]
[center]There's a brighter tomorrow [/center]
[center]that's just down the road. [/center]
[center]Don't look back, [/center]
[center]you're not going that way![/center]
Hva var dette for en slags presentasjon da, Fat-bastard? ;) Et "Hmmm" i Marits lille hjørne? :p
[color=navy][/color]
Bare for å gjøre oss nysgjerrige eller? Fortell, fortell, om hvem du er - i introduksjons-forumet. (Men du så veldig skummel og fryktinngytende ut...)
[center]Jorden[/center]
[center][b][/b][/center]
[center]Jorden [/center]
[center]menneskenes jord[/center]
[center]bortenfor månens rosa univers[/center]
[center]slynget ut i rommet, blott ett gnistrende støvkorn i evigheten:[/center]
[center]så liten, så stille, så arm på betydning.[/center]
[center]Her strekker seg skogene ubendig grønskende, fulle av duft,[/center]
[center]her stiger fuglenes lokkerop og flokkes dyra ved kulpene,[/center]
[center]her brenner sola ødeleggende het[/center]
[center]eller kjærtegner åkrene til fruktbarhet[/center]
[center]her styrter regnet seg hamrende hardt mot rennende leire,[/center]
[center]her stormer havene, her gløder blomstene,[/center]
[center]her står den sykliske striden om livsrom[/center]
[center]og her er mennesket![/center]
[center]Menneskers jord[/center]
[center]bortenfor månens rosa univers[/center]
[center]gledens jord og sorgens[/center]
[center]fellesskapets jord og ensomhetens[/center]
[center]menneskets jord:[/center]
[center]her bor du, her lever du,[/center]
[center]her sliter du og lider,[/center]
[center]her bærer du all din tause lengsel,[/center]
[center]her er ditt hjem, du menneske-[/center]
[center]du barn[/center]
[center]som ble født til å leve[/center]
[center]på jorden.[/center]
Denne har vi alle sett, lest eller hørt, men dere trenger alle å bli minnet på det en gang i blandt! :)
[center][/center]
[center]Du er enestående[/center]
[center]Du er enestående[/center]
[center]Du er mer verdt enn noen kan måle[/center]
[center]Du kan noe som er spesielt for deg[/center]
[center]Du har noe å gi andre[/center]
[center]Du har gjort noe du kan være stolt av[/center]
[center]Du har store ubrukte ressurser[/center]
[center]Du duger til noe[/center]
[center]Du kan godta andre[/center]
[center]Du har evne til å forstå og lære av andre[/center]
[center]Det er noen som er glad i deg[/center]
[center]May the angels keep you till morning,[/center]
[center]May they guide you through the night;[/center]
[center]May they comfort all your sorrows,[/center]
[center]May they help you win the fight. [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]May the angels keep watch on your soul,[/center]
[center]May they show you better ways;[/center]
[center]May they guard you while you're sleeping,[/center]
[center]May they see you through all your days. [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]May they show you new hopes,[/center]
[center]May they still your every doubt;[/center]
[center]May they calm your every fear,[/center]
[center]May they hear your every shout. [/center]
[center][/center]
[center]May the angels keep you till morning,[/center]
[center]More than this I cannot pray;[/center]
[center]And if the angels ever fail you - [/center]
[center]Then may God be with you on that day. [/center]
[center][/color][i]While Your little ones[/i][/center]
[center]Remain blameless,[/center]
[center]They are the ones who suffer.[/center]
[center]Burnt and twisted little bodies,[/center]
[center]Torn and mangled...[/center]
[center]In the womb;[/center]
[center]That was designed to protect[/center]
[center]And nurture[/center]
[center]Holy innocents.[/center]
[center]What has the human race become,[/center]
[center]Murderers and torturers,[/center]
[center]Of their very own offspring? [/center]
[center]The ones who cannot[/center]
[center]Fend for themselves.[/center]
[center]And all the time...[/center]
[center]Thinking how the human race[/center]
[center]Has evolved?[/center]
[center]Dear God, help us...[/center]
[center][b]Choose life and live...[/b][/center]
[center][/center]
[left]hank you for you: for who you are, [/left]
[left]owever far away; [/left]
[left]nd for the words you send to me, [/left]
[left]ear mad for what you say. [/left]
[left]nowing simply that you're there, [/left]
[left]et thinking much of me, [/left]
[left]pens up my happiness, [/left]
[left]ndone for all to see. [/left]
[left][/left]
[left][/left]
[left]:) [/left]
[left]Ønsker dere alle en flott ny uke! :klem: [/left]
[center]De ti spisebud[/center]
[center]1. Dersom du spiser noe og ingen ser det, har det ingen kalorier.[/center]
[center]2. Dersom du drikker en lettbrus sammen med en sjokoladeplate, vil [/center]
[center]kaloriene i sjokoladeplaten bli nullet ut av lettbrusen.[/center]
[center]3. Dersom du spiser sammen med andre, teller bare de kaloriene som du [/center]
[center]spiser mer enn dem.[/center]
[center]4. Mat som inntas for medisinske formål (som f.eks. karsk, solbærtoddy, [/center]
[center]varm sjokolade, rødvin, cognac etc) teller ALDRI.[/center]
[center]5. Jo mer du feter opp de som til daglig er rundt deg, desto tynnere [/center]
[center]virker du selv.[/center]
[center]6. Mat (f.eks. popkorn, peanøtter, brus, sjokolade og drops) som inntas [/center]
[center]som en del av underholdningen ved å se på film eller video eller høre på musikk, inneholder ikke kalorier fordi de ikke inntas som mat eller føde, [/center]
[center]men som en del av en underholdning.[/center]
[center]7. Kakestykker og småkaker inneholder ikke noe fett dersom de brytes opp [/center]
[center]og spises bit for bit, fordi fettet fordamper når de brytes opp.[/center]
[center]8. Alt som slikkes fra kniver, slikkepotter eller skjeer mens du lager [/center]
[center]mat, inneholder ikke kalorier fordi det er et ledd i mattilberedelsen.[/center]
[center]9. Mat med samme farge har samme kaloriinnhold (f. eks. tomater og [/center]
[center]jordbærsyltetøy, sopp og hvit sjokolade).[/center]
[center]10. Mat som er frosset inneholder ikke kalorier, fordi kalorier er en [/center]
[center]varmeenhet.[/center]
[center]Motherhood - If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor! [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Avenge yourself - live long enough to be a problem to your children. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere, and to let the air out of the tires. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Raising a teenager is like nailing Jello to a tree. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Grandparents are similar to a piece of string -- handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]God gave you two ears and one mouth... so you should listen twice as much as you talk. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]You know the only people in this world who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and his mother's age. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]How do you cope when the apple of your eye becomes a bone in your throat? [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]No wonder kids are confused today. Half the adults tell them to find themselves; the other half tell them to get lost. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]The persons hardest to convince they're at the retirement age are children at bedtime. [/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights. [/center]
[indent]Once upon a time, there was a child ready to be born. So one day he asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"
God replied, "Among the many angels, I chose one for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
The child said, "But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile. That's enough for me to be happy. And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk?"
God replied, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."
The child questioned, "And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
God replied, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."
The child said, "I've heard that there are bad men on earth. Who will protect me?"
[center] [/center]
God replied, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking her own life."
The child said, "But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
God replied, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you."
At that moment, there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard. The child, in a hurry, asked softly, "Oh God! If I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."
God replied, "Your angel's name is of no importance. You will simply call her MOMMY."
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Hvis du vil svare i tråden, så kan du gjøre det her.
Sov godt alle mine små... Klem mamma...
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[/left]
hank you for you: for who you are, [/left]
owever far away; [/left]
nd for the words you send to me, [/left]
ear mad for what you say. [/left]
nowing simply that you're there, [/left]
et thinking much of me, [/left]
pens up my happiness, [/left]
ndone for all to see. [/left]
[/left]
"Mommy-isms" 
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There's something in a simple hug
That always warms the heart;
It welcomes you back home
And makes it easier to part.
Author Unknown 
